Weather report ... Starmer sinking ... Farage rising ... Fake law firm ... Fake cases ... NHS employee cleans up with woke case for hurt feelings ... Floyd Alexander-Hunt files from Blighty
After my complaints about the bleakness of London's winter, my prayers have finally been answered! London has had its sunniest Spring on record, concluding with a 26°C "heat-wave" (how quaint) on the last day of May.
The warmer weather led to a rather damning hay fever season, yet there have also been many upsides, including a bumper strawberry crop just in time for Pimm's and Eton Mess.
But it's not all sunny here in the British Isles. Starmer's sinking popularity has seen a few surges to the political right. Nigel Farage's Reform UK party gained traction in the early May local elections and these seismic shifts have started to turn the two-party system on its head.
A May Ipsos poll revealed that the British public now see Reform as the main opposition, rather than the Tories. Farage's progression from 2023 where he was a contestant on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! to potential PM is both frightening and unbelievable.
That is until you look at the reality TV star who occupies the top post across the Atlantic.
Other things have been happening ...
Suits UK reboot
Mike Ross ... he's back
It has been 14 years since the premier of the US hit TV show Suits, whose premise follows the antics of a college dropout, Mike Ross, pretending to be a Harvard-educated lawyer at a top-tier US law firm.
However, in an unoriginal twist of fate, it appears that the con-artist Mike Ross has swapped New York coffee for English tea.
In May, the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) issued a warning over a fake law firm website designed to scam unsuspecting Brits.
Among its fake lawyers? One Mike Ross. The SRA declared that the LegalLens law firm and its thirteen named lawyers "are not authorised or regulated by the SRA".
While this Mike Ross seems to have aged rather rapidly, his biography bears striking resemblance to the character on the show: "Many of his cases involve international consideration ... he qualified as a corporate lawyer before moving to specialise in family law ...", which die-hard fans will know is the plot of season seven.
Was this Mike Ross also invited to Meghan Markle's wedding?
Fake it till you make it
Tom v Jerry
A junior barrister has been fined by a judge after it was discovered she had included five fake case citations in the claimant's submissions.
The case, which concerned a homeless claimant seeking accommodation from a council, was derailed after the court discovered the cases cited in the claimant's submission were not actually real.
It is always worth checking your cases lest Tom v Jerry or Batman v Superman slip into your arguments.
The judge fined Ms Sarah Forey and each of the instructing solicitors at Haringey Law Centre £2,000 each for the improper, unreasonable and negligent behaviour.
The judge suggested that while AI may have been to blame for this blunder, it was indeterminable on the facts.
Let this be a stern warning to any professionals planning to use AI to help finish late night tasks. Sometimes it might be better to let your dog eat your homework than have a computer spit it out.
In a galaxy not far from Croydon
An ENTJ-type personality
A London employment tribunal has awarded £30,000 to an NHS worker, Ms Lorna Rooke, after she was compared to Darth Vader at work.
The tribunal determined that the term was enough to constitute a legal "detriment", after a co-worker took a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) quiz during a team-building exercise on Ms Rooke's behalf, which consequently aligned her with the infamous Sith Lord.
I once took a Lion King quiz on Buzzfeed and came out as Pumba - who can I sue?
Ms Rooke told the tribunal that this outcome made her feel unpopular and was one of the reasons for her resignation the following month.
Turns out Darth Vader's personality type is ENTJ (extraverted, intuitive, thinking and judging) - "commander" attributes which are also shared by Julius Caesar, Napoleon and Margaret Thatcher.
Wouldn't you be more offended by that?
Costly tap and pipe drama
Dr Patel and Ms Naish: border war
An almost twelve year stoush between neighbours over a garden pipe and tap has resulted in legal bills accruing to almost £250,000, with the potential to rise to £500,000 after a fresh round of High Court litigation.
For years, Christel Naish, 81, has argued that Dr Jyotibala Patel's garden tap and pipe trespass on her East London property.
This dispute bears resemblance to the protracted fights I have with my brother when dividing a chocolate bar in half.
Last year, judge Stephen Hellman found in favour of Dr Patel, hoping that the relevant tensions would "subside" following the judicial ruling.
It seems that may have been a tad optimistic. Following the initial trial at the Mayors and City County Court in central London, Ms Naish was instructed to pay 65 per cent of Dr Patel's costs – amounting to nearly £100,000 on top of her own six-figure fees.
Hearing the appeal at the High Court in May, senior judge Sir Anthony Mann declared:
"It seems to me to be a ridiculous piece of litigation – on both sides, no doubt."
He thought cases like this bring litigation into disrepute.