Letter from London

Holiday season ... Mother's Day, Lent, Chocolate ... Publisher wants money from Russell Brand for unpublished books ... Paralegal accessed forbidden documents to qualify for legal training contract ... Birthday card payout ... Floyd Alexander-Hunt files from Blighty  

We've finally reached that time of the year when we get to celebrate all of my favourite novelty holidays, including the equinox, daylight savings, April Fools and Celine Dion's birthday. 

In fact in old London town, this past week we even had Mother's Day. 

Apparently the day has no relation to the US/Australian version and is rooted in a centuries-old tradition of children returning to their home towns to visit their mothers on the fourth Sunday of Lent. 

Did I return to my mother's house for the weekend? Well no. First, the airfare would cost an arm, a leg and a kidney, and second, after four weeks of giving up chocolate for Lent, I've decided the only person who should have to endure me in a state of chocolate withdrawal is my dear husband. Lucky him.

It's been a busy month in UK news. The government has been grappling with US tariffs, a difficult upcoming Autumn budget and the prospect of the US joining the Commonwealth. Turns out Lin Manuel-Miranda's Hamilton track, You'll Be Back may be have been more premonition than parody ... 

The subtle art of not writing a book 

Bad Boy Brand

Bluebird, an imprint of global publishing giant Pan Macmillan, has filed a lawsuit against Russell Brand for failing to deliver 'two original literary works of non-fiction' for which he was paid an advance of £575,000. 

Indeed, nothing screams self-help guru like the inability to write your own self-help books.

The deal, made in 2021, was meant to be a continuation of previous works that Brand had written for the publisher, including bestselling titles Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions. 

That book's sequel, which was due to be released in 2024 was indefinitely delayed due to allegations covered in a joint investigation between the Sunday Times and Channel 4's Dispatches in 2023. 

The publisher is suing Brand for a sum of £220,000 amid Brand's failure to deliver a manuscript. Pan Macmillan also attempted to hire a ghostwriter for £3,000 to assist in drafting, however, court documents claim that Brand did not engage with this process. 

Nice to know that Brand draws the line for self-help at accepting help from others. 

The £220,000 demanded accounts for 'wasted expenditure' on the part of Pan Macmillan - which is what I'd call any money spent on self-help books. Use TikTok or Reddit people!

This suit, among pending criminal and civil suits against Brand, may result in a very busy year of litigation for him. 

Paralegal put in her place

A London paralegal from Macfarlanes has been reprimanded and barred by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) for attempting to cheat in an assessment for a training contract at the top-tier law shop. 

It was determined that Elena Jalali repeatedly accessed confidential information relating to business case studies and model answers ahead of the assessment day in August 2023. 

If you're going to cheat on a test, the traditional method is to write the answers on your upper thigh, on the inside of your water bottle wrapper, or in morse code disguised as a tattoo? Rookie error.

Repeatedly denying her misconduct, the SRA eventually concluded that Ms Jalali's conduct was serious as it 'demonstrated a lack of integrity and a breach of the trust placed in her'. 

Accordingly, she was made subject to a section 43 order, restricting future practice without prior SRA approval and made to pay £600 to cover the SRA's costs. 

Jalali's case is another glimpse into the cut-throat world of gaining a coveted training contract at a top-tier London firm. If only they knew the average working hours for junior lawyers… 

Unwanted wishes result in birthday payday

From HM Revenue & CustomsHM Revenue & Customs has been ordered to pay an employee £25,000 after her managers sent her a birthday card, despite telling them she did not wish to celebrate her birthday. 

Note to self: Tell my family I want no presents and then sue them for the ones I receive. 

Kani Toure took her claim to an employment tribunal, claiming that the contact occurred during stress-related sick leave in which Toure had 'clearly explained' she did not want to receive any correspondence. 

Toure also brought a wider set of claims including harassment and discrimination. The Tribunal ultimately determined that sending the birthday card constituted 'unwanted contact' and subsequently awarded £25,251.62 in compensation for the broader claims, including £20,000 for injury to feelings.

I've recently explained to a few of my colleagues that enduring small talk about their child's pirate themed birthday party is unwanted contact, however, I have yet to receive any damages. Stay tuned for my impending pay day.